Feedback is Back

Posted by mike on April 8, 2008 in Doctoral Adventure, Lit. Review |

Back from North Carolina! We took a little excursion to visit my in-laws and get some time away.

Meanwhile, my mentor’s feedback came back, as well as feedback from my step-mother, Joan. Those of you reading as carefully as these two wonderful mentors likely caught many of the same things. Here are the highlights.

  • Taking things for granted.  I tend to use vague terms thinking the audience knows what I am talking about. In academic writing one needs to be specific each time about the topic. For example, use collaborative computing technologies versus these technologies.
  • Opinion versus fact. I wrote in an overconfident manner express things as facts when in reality they are not proven facts but commonly accepted opinions. It is a nuance in academic writing of this magnitude I am becoming familiar with quickly. One should be stating this as this study showed authors expressed, or commonly accepted.
  • Jargon or something resembling jargon. Web 2.0 is full of potential to be jargon-rich. Academic writing needs to be free of jargon. Being careful is important.
  • Be concise. I am pretty verbose in speaking and sometimes that bleeds over into writing. Typically, though, I work to eliminate the unnecessary things and make the paper clean and clear. It looks like I slipped here and need to be more concise.
  • Small writing errors. I need to clean up some sentence structure and smaller errors throughout. It was a draft and as such was not completely accurate, but I think pretty close.

I am revising my literature over the next week or so and will get a 3rd draft re-posted here for you all (and for my mentor).

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